There are a lot of parents who hide the world's events from their children. They coat the world in glittering sugar to make it easier for their children to swallow. We even tell ourselves that we're doing it for a good reason. We're protecting them from the horrors of the world, we say. It's better this way.
But is it? Does presenting a beautiful, serene utopia of a world serve to protect our children - or does it set them up for failure and disappointment? Are we doing our children a disservice by not giving them time and space to process the genuine horrors of the world before they have to deal with them on their own? The utopia we're selling them? It doesn't exist.
I've never been able to bring myself to lie to my son about big things going on in the world. At first it was just explaining what was happening. I didn't offer. I didn't call him over to teach him a valuable lesson, but if he happened to see me upset about an article or caught a glimpse of a news video - I'd explain. I'd explain in a concise, blunt, and very honest manner what was happening.
Then one day it hit me like a slap to the face. Most kids in the world don't get the luxury of that sugary coating because they're -living- that horror. Once that piece slid into place, the puzzle became -strikingly- clear.
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| This little boy doesn't get the luxury of assuming that the world is an essentially good and fluffy place. |
Recently, I'd watched MTV's documentary on racism White People. Let me summarize it for you. Non-white people talk to white people about racism and white people are horrified, uncomfortable, and sometimes straight-up think they're being lied to about the effects that racism had on their non-white counterparts.
I wondered what the parents of those white kids had taught them about racism. I wondered if it was the blanket an oversimplified idea that "we're all the same" and "we're all colourblind". We're raising kids who don't realize that racism exists. They haven't been trained to see it, so they ignore it.
And I've got news for you - that's racism. Denying that racism exists. Is racism.
So, from a young age, I started pulling Xander -to- me when I was watching the news and the horrors of the world. I didn't want to raise a child who would look at his friend and say, "No, no, no. We're clearly the same. You haven't experienced racism because I don't believe in it."
I wanted a kid who -knew- what happened in the world and -knew- how to spot it. You can only fight back against something if you know how to identify it.
We've talked about police shootings of unarmed black teens. We've talked about religious wars. About Syria. About terrorism. Starvation, poverty, sexual assault, sexism, homophobia. We've talked about hatred.
There are going to be a lot of people horrified about that - but I really don't care. I know that I'm doing the right thing. I know that who I'm raising is a kid who is informed enough to be pissed off about the way the world is - and that is how you raise someone who will fight for change. I'm raising my kid with the plea on my lips, "Please help make the world a better place." by -admitting- to him that it isn't one now.
Because when we lie to our children - when we tell them that the world is a good place, what we're really saying is that we're okay with the way the world is right now - and we -really- shouldn't be.
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