I see a lot of people on the internet commenting on the letter that little Sophia Cruz wrote and gave to the pope, fearful that her parents were going to be deported.
The vast majority of the comments go something along the lines of, "Her parents obviously wrote that for her."
And that is -so gross-. It implies several things, two of them more glaring. That Sophia Cruz is incapable of such a well formed idea and that her parents are deliberately deceptive. The first idea feeds the second and is -incredibly-, -blatantly-. -wrong-.
While it's entirely possible that Sophie Cruz herself is incapable of such a well formed idea - to think that 5 year olds in general are - is just ignorant.
I know this for -absolute fact-, because I am a mother of a 5 year old -just like that-. I am the mother of a 5 year old with big, well formed ideas about what is right and wrong, a 5 year old who worries about the big things in the world - wars, famine, poverty, cruelty. I have a 5 year old who sees news reports of police killing unarmed civilians and comes to me with concerns about whether or not his family are safe from the police. I have a 5 year old who told me that he thinks we should eat less meat because it's unhealthy too eat too much meat AND because it's unethical to kill so many animals just for one family.
Do you know what happens when we look at a child and invalidate their big ideas? -We discourage them from having them-. Instead of saying, "Damn that little girl is one smart cookie - continue with your amazing parenting!!" we shut down Sophie Cruz and say she is incapable of her own work.
If you want a real idea of Sophie Cruz's mind, look at her artwork. It's -extremely advanced- for a 5 year old. She obviously has excellent fine motor control for her age and the detail in her drawings puts that art skill at -at least- 9 years old if not more advanced (my son's drawing skill is that of an 8 year old and he's nowhere near this level of detail).
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| Sophie Cruz's drawing. It reads: "My friends and I love each other no matter our skin color." (Arelis Hernandez/ The Washington Post) |
I don't doubt for a moment that Sophie Cruz absolutely came up with that idea on her own. I don't doubt for a moment that she was genuinely terrified and encouraged by her parents to express her idea and share it with the Pope (because I know that I would do -exactly the same thing-.).
I find myself reminded of a time when female writers had to pretend to be men even to have their ideas taken seriously. Why? Because they were just feeble-minded women who couldn't come up with anything worth listening to. It discouraged generations of women from making their voices heard. Why should they bother? No one was listening.
We engage in the same invalidating behaviour with children. When they come up with a big idea that is profound to us - we come back insulting them that they must have taken the idea from someone else.
Why? Because we feel intimidated by the intellectual prowess of a little girl? Because we ourselves are nothing like as brave as a tiny child? Because she is being -listened to- while our adult voices are currently silenced by location or circumstance? Are we really tearing children down over what gets down to little more than jealousy?
I understand -a lot- about human behaviour, and why people do the things that they do has -always- fascinated me. One thing I have consistently failed to understand, however - is the human need to constantly put children in their place and to bind them intellectually.
"Shut up you with your big ideas. Go back and play in the dirt where kids belong. No one asked you. Children should only speak when spoken to."
It's their world. We're only taking care of it until they're ready. Children are born without sexism, without racism, without hatred and rage in their tiny hearts. We should listen to them -more-, not -less-.
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