Spread The Bullshit - Sagging Pants

by Unknown 2:35 AM 6 comments

Sagging pants.  Don't get me wrong, it's not a fashion statement I'm fond of.  I've always seen the extremely caucasian males in my hometown wandering around wearing pants held up with tape, magic or possibly some kind of pulley system and considered them with nothing more than mild amusement.

Of course I've seen people who get all uppity over it, such as the completely absurd political message above.
Taking it a bit far, aren't we? I mean, all things considered, those guys look silly - but how is this:

Ooo, dat ass.

disrespecting your body when this is....:

I'm hypnotized..

...a cute as a bug pose from Heidi Klum?  Not saying she's not cute as a bug, just saying, I think I need some therapy after seeing her weirdly wrinkled back...

I can see more of Heidi's actual butt area than I can of Monsieur Fabuloso up above, and to be frank, I'm less bothered by that than Wrinkly McModel's pasty back.

BUT THAT'S NOT WHY WE'RE HERE.

We're here because of this:

This, like all good internet Bullshit, has been floating around the internet for years.  Let me get something out of the way right now by saying that it is crap.  Complete crap.  Utter and complete crap.  ...and when you think about it, really douchey crap.

The actual style, as (thankfully) many people know, WAS started in prison - but not as a way of signaling one's desire for hot, hot buttsex.  ....but because their pants didn't fit well.  Yup.  Mundane.  It took off in a way that actually makes sense.  Man in prison wears pants sagging.  Man in prison is tough.  Man who wears sagging pants = tough.

Sweet.  Let's all be badasses!  YAY!

BUT...it upset the tender sensibilities of people.

Look at this shit, it makes babies cry ffs...

In a world where women basically walk around in skimpy underwear on beaches, fashion magazines tell us how to make our cleavage pop and sideboob is a thing seen in public ....we are apparently concerned by seeing men's boxers.

MEANWHILE...if a man walks around in shorts exposing the same amount of skin that boxers would have - and does NOT wear pants, he's fine.  Does not make sense.

What really bothers ME about this is that to discourage people from participating in a fashion that they dislike, people have attached 'it means you're gay, lol' to it - and that's just douchey.  Leave homosexuality out of your crap, Fashion Police.  It's uncalled for.

There is, of course, the argument that people who have sagging pants may be involved in criminal activities but that's about as solid as someone wearing chef's hat being involved in the making of delicious pastries. 

I literally typed 'mmm pastries' in Google and got this.

Possible, not necessarily true.  And you don't run up to everyone in a chef's hat and demand a danish.  That's because everyone in a chef's hat is NOT, in fact, a pastry chef making danishes.

Just like every man with sagging pants isn't dealing drugs.

Oh but Sandra, I hear people whining, why can't they just stop doing it and make me happier??

Because they don't wanna.  ...and you know what? We have bigger shit to worry about, so pick your battles and let it go.  Go worry about something like this:

Oklahoma :(

That is worth your damn time.  

And when you see someone else posting an image on Facebook about how sagging pants = gay sex, tell them to stop perpetuating homophobic, internet Bullshit.

Me, I'm just going to keep pretending that this is the real reason...

Also, hi, I'm back.